I get so antsy during these quiet times. The planting of seed season , hoping to reap a harvest. Will this promotional piece (pet show sketch I posted earlier) reap the harvest I so desire? Is the felt really going to open the doors for me? I hope it is. It’s making me queasy nervous. BUT, when I’m actually sitting and working , I feel a real sense of purpose and satisfaction. That should be my answer, right ? If I wouldn’t waste so much time THINKING, OVER ANALYZING, SPECULATING, I would be alright.
I want guarantees. That is my problem. Stepping out in faith is very difficult for me. Like I’ve said before, it took me two years to listen to that inner voice urging me to explore with the felt. And lo and behold…it opened new doors, very exciting doors!
I have big dreams but I easily get stuck in the moment I guess, not really trusting myself. Granted, I have been accomplishing things that I never would have dreamed. To take someone like me , a very shy, self conscious soul and to be working now in a field where I have to face rejection daily is a major feat.
But what’s funny is once you’ve accomplished that goal that seemed so hard to attain…here comes another one smiling and urging you on. That’s what is going on with me right now, I think.
My desires are changing. I’m wanting more. And because of that, I am going to have to stretch myself. Try things that are unfamiliar and scary. That’s a vulnerable feeling.
As I sit here typing this I realize that it IS a part of the process , isn’t it?
Our inner selves are slowly revealing its plan to us step by step. We need to embrace that and accept that it’s our tool to get where we’re headed.. It’s our inner selves prompting us to the next level. It’s okay , not to know what is going to happen next. We just need to go for it and let the rest take care of its self.
What is the point of this ramble? I guess I’m just hoping that you will trust your instincts, go for it and step out a little too. Like I’m reminding myself today …with every action, there is a reaction. Take that step and see what happens. You may be in the quiet time of your dream but believe that the effort that you make now, however small, will move you forward on your journey. Trust your inner voice even if the dreams you have seem so out of the realm of possibility. They aren’t.
Spoken like a true path finder...the waiting is the hardest part!
Posted by: Snowbear | January 26, 2005 at 09:11 AM
It takes one to know one, Snowbear! =o)
Posted by: roz | January 26, 2005 at 01:24 PM
I could of written that post myself! That is exactly what I'm experiencing.
Posted by: holli | January 26, 2005 at 01:47 PM