Rozzie Land: New Year pondering

Wow, I can't believe it's nearly here, a new year. I so love christmas but I equally enjoy this time of pondering and preparing for what lies ahead for the next 12 months. A clean slate of potential and possibilities! I have so many hopes and dreams. It's no secret, the main one is the same as the past 4 years... to become a successful children's book illustrator. I want it so much I ache. And you know what's strange is I really can't put a finger on 'why' when people ask. I just know that I love everything about it. Creating art to help bring words to life for small children makes me feel complete, satisfied. I don't know how else to explain it!

I have always been creative and was even writing/illustrating my own books as a child but I think I took my artistic side for granted. I didn't grow up knowing that this is what I wanted to do with my life like so many others. It wasn't until after I was married with children that I discovered the world of freelance illustration. Really, I should say it found me. It's a long story but after we got our first computer a friend of mine (children's author) knew i enjoyed drawing and found a ton of on line illustration lists for me to join. Oh my gosh...I thought I'd died and gone to heaven....kindred spirits under the tips of my fingers. I was home!

My biggest mental obstacle ,though,was that I hadn't gone to school to get an art degree. I felt 'less than'. That was until I met Elaine Garvin, my dear friend and mentor. I can't end this year without telling you about her.

She was a successful children's book illustrator with 20+ books under her belt. She was well respected in the children's book illustration community and made it her mission to help aspiring illustrators . I idolized this woman. She drew how I WISHED that I could and on top of it all , she was self taught. She made me see that it was possible and believed in me before I ever could. I was blessed to learn from her for nearly 5 years. Lainey passed away unexpectedly this summer. It was devasting for all of us that knew her. What a void there has been without her here. I have felt so lost without my anchor to guide me. Yes, I relied on her heavily and she knew it. I liked to make her proud of me if that makes any sense. I wanted to prove to her that all her effort helping me was appreciated,that it wasn't in vain. I miss her laugh and I miss her humour. There's so much I want to tell you about her....just know that she was wonderful.

We are so blessed to have this venue to network together! Being a freelancer can be a very isolating experience. And not all husbands ,wives and friends really 'get you' as much as they try to, bless 'em. On these lists you can talk til your blue in the face with others about the ups and downs of freelancing and never tire of it. That's such a gift isn't it? The friends you are making through these blogs and online are not accidental. Cherish the people that are put in your path to guide and support you. I know that you do. And equally know that you are affecting someone in a positive way by your support and sharing of experiences.

Lainey I miss you so much. I'm not going to tell you goodbye. Instead I'm going to believe that you are still cheering me on as I continue on this magical,frustrating, invigorating, windy path to fulfilling my dream.

So New year...come on ....I'm armed and ready!

Comments

What a touching tribute to your friend--she sounds like she was a wonderful person to know. Cherish that time together; it's the stuff that makes life worth living.
As for the rest, I'm with you 100%, my friend!

Posted by: Snowbear | December 30, 2004 at 09:24 AM